Quitting Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder

Quitting Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder BPD Treatment Print What to Do If You Want to Quit Going to Therapy for BPD By Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and associate professor of psychology at Eastern Connecticut State University. Learn about our editorial policy Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD Updated on September 27, 2019 Hill Street Studios / Getty Images More in BPD Treatment Diagnosis Living With BPD Related Conditions If you have  borderline personality disorder (BPD), its very common to feel like you want to quit therapy. In fact, it is quite natural to get frustrated with therapy or your therapist  or to feel like psychotherapy is not working anymore. But many people leave therapy before they have reached their treatment goalsâ€"research shows that about 47 percent of people with BPD leave treatment prematurely. Quitting therapy is a big decision, so think through your reasons and your treatment goals. Consider Your Reasons for Wanting to Quit BPD Therapy Before dropping out of therapy, think about your reasons for wanting to leave; you may find it helpful to write a list. Common causes include: You don’t feel like the therapy is workingYou don’t like your therapistYou don’t have time to attend sessionsYou think youve gotten better and are ready to go it aloneThe things you talk about in session are too ?emotional/intenseYou don’t think your therapist likes youYou will never get better no matter what you doYou believe your therapist is incompetentYou don’t have enough money to pay for sessions Talk to Your Therapist Now that you have a list of your reasons for wanting to quit therapy, put a star next to the biggest reasons so that you can discuss them with your therapist. Perhaps you are embarrassed to discuss dropping out with your therapist because you don’t want to disappoint or offend him. Or maybe you don’t trust her enough to discuss it with her. Whatever your reason, addressing your concerns about therapy with your counselor may help. For instance, if you want to quit because of money or because of your schedule, your therapist could perhaps work out a payment plan or agree to meet you after her main office hours. She can also give you a referral to another therapist if you feel like youre not clicking with her or making enough progress.   Dont be afraid to begin this discussion. Its highly unlikely that your therapist has not had a discussion such as this before. Therapy brings up many emotions, and its very common for people to want to give up or to feel that nothing will really help. Be as honest as you can be. Keep in mind that your therapist does what she does because she wants to help people. Is It the Disorder Talking? In some cases, the symptoms of BPD can convince you to quit therapy. If you experience splitting, you may view your therapist with suspicion or dislike which could cause you to drop out of therapy too early.  People with depression  as part of BPD can have periods of hopelessness and extremely low motivation, which can make them want to drop out of therapy as well.   In both of these cases, a therapist can help you think through what is in your best interest versus what your disorder is “telling you” to do. Pros and Cons of Quitting Therapy Another technique that can help you decide whether to drop out of therapy is called the pros and cons tool. This is a tool that is taught in dialectical  behavior therapy  and can be a great way of thinking through many different kinds of decisions. Once you complete the pros and cons tool, think more about what direction you want to head in. Does quitting therapy still seem like a good idea? Or, is it becoming clearer that another path might make more sense? If quitting therapy still seems like the right choice, does this mean quitting therapy outright, or just changing therapists or the type of therapy you are receiving? Think through all of your options to make the best decision for you. Get Support From the 9 Best Online Therapy Programs The Bottom Line The bottom line is that there are many reasons that people drop out of therapy and sometimes these are unavoidable. But sometimes people drop out of therapy prematurely without thinking it through and talking to their therapists about it. If you are sure that you need to drop out, consider other avenues of treatment. And, whether you choose to continue working with a therapist or not, continue to work on your skills for coping with borderline personality disorder. Finally, before leaving therapy, make sure you have a safety plan for BPD in place.